Several months ago, two friends shared some of the challenges of putting down new roots in an unfamiliar place with their families. Among the challenges were new relationships/schooling for their kids, different weather patterns to adjust to, a new church to be tethered to, to name a few.
These changes have required courage to navigate newness all around. Leaving the comforts as well as hard stuff about the former place can add complicated layers to the adjustment period. “Will my kids be able to make new friends here? Will I be able to make new friends? Will the town I now live in or church I attend become a safe and vulnerable space to cultivate a sustaining community for me and my family?” These kinds of questions can cause both excitement and trepidation.
Our conversation made me consider the phrase “grounded and tethered” during this season. We all long to be grounded to a secure space in which we can feel safe; to be tethered to God and friends who will honor and hold space for our vulnerable story, even if it’s difficult. Moving to a new community brings these desires to the surface.
Remember the popular playground game of tetherball? Three things are needed to play: A pole that is firmly secured in the ground, a medium-sized ball, and a length of rope that keeps the ball attached to the pole. The goal of tetherball is to hit the ball hard enough for the ball and rope to wrap itself fully around the pole without your opponent striking it back and wrapping it around the pole in the opposite direction. It’s possible that kids love it because the ball does not need to be chased down to retrieve it!
When our four kids were very young, an older friend and wise sage gave this insight on parenting: “As parents, we put our kids into orbit and hope and pray they stay in orbit!” Isn’t that truly the heart’s desire for most parents, to keep them grounded and tethered; to give them both roots and wings? Secure attachment to a loving parent gives a child a healthy sense of identity. Parenting them well offers safety, security, and love as well as appropriate calibrated freedoms. Lots of prayer continues as they are put into orbit. For a parent, that kind of “letting go” requires faith and grit, and prayer continues long after our kids are “fully launched”!
According to the church calendar, we find ourselves in “Ordinary Time”. But this season does not feel that way for most everyone I know, how about you? So let’s look at ways we can desire to be both grounded and tethered to Jesus and His ways.
- First, I’m encouraged by the way Jesus began his earthly ministry: he was baptized and heard God’s delight in him immediately as Beloved Son. (Mark 1:9-15). His name was given to him before any ministry accomplishments, mass feedings, healings, accolades, or teachings in the synagogue. This should give us some clues about God’s unconditional love for Jesus, and so, for us as image-bearers. His identity was grounded in the Father from the very beginning and echoed by his mother Mary who sang how God “was mindful of her humble state” as she carried the Savior in her womb. Our identity as beloved is found in many places in Scripture. We love Psalm 139 and how beautifully it reflects the intimate ways God created us, pursues us, and thoroughly knows us, even as we know He is also aware of all the unflattering ways we think and talk about others.
- This leads to a second reflection and possible challenge. (I know it is a challenge for me.) Pastor and author Rich Villodas wrote about the love of God and others in his new book, The Narrow Path: “In Jesus’ mind, these two commandments [to love God and one another] are inseparable. It is impossible to separate loving God and loving others. It is impossible to separate our personal relationship with God from our personal relationships with those around us…. How you love God is how you love your neighbor, and how you love your neighbor is how you love God.” The ultimate confession/invitation is “Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me and lead me in the way everlasting” Psalm 139:23-24. We would do well in this season to hear Villodas’ reflection and pray this prayer every day, don’t you think? Do you hear your Creator’s delight in you? God knows everything about you and He still loves you. So many of us fight the inner shame that shouts, “that can’t possibly be true!” When we resist this truth, it can be easy to judge and hurt others. There are no strings attached with the One who tells you your name is “Beloved.” As we trust and affirm that truth about ourselves, it can reveal our own shortcomings in how we view and treat others.
- Lastly, how does our belief in God’s unfailing love impact how we weather storms that come our way? How do we stay tethered to life-giving ways? Immediately after his baptism, Jesus was thrust into the wilderness and tempted by Satan for forty days amid hunger, heat, and wild beasts. And as he abided with the Father in the wilderness, he remained tethered to the promises of a faithful God, declaring that possessions, position, and power would not have a hold over him, and he had this reply for Satan who tried to trip him up every step of the way: “It is written: Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.” “It is also written: Do not put the Lord your God to the test.” “It is written: Worship the Lord your God and serve Him only.” (Matthew 4:1-11) I must admit, it’s not so easy to stay tethered to the ways of Jesus in our present times. We know God is unchanging, and we can ground ourselves in His promises of unfailing love, no matter how wonky our orbit seems to be. But some of us feel like our rope has worn so thin that it’s about to break! I recently heard Nancy Ortberg quote Dallas Willard: “The end of your rope is God’s address”, and I am pondering that reflection. So often when I feel I’m at my wit’s end, I am consistent in trying to repair my own rope by worrying or taking control. That only works if I stop to notice God’s companionship in the hard stuff. It’s where He longs to dwell and hang out. Abiding in Him, just as the branch finds its source of stability, nourishment and flourishing from the True Vine, helps me remember that He’s God and I’m not. Trust requires laying down my own self-reliance and giving Him the benefit of the doubt as Keeper of my soul.
Life can smack us upside of the head on any given day, just like the tether ball, and we can stay grounded in the identity He gave us and tethered to the loving and faithful companionship of a God who loves and rescues. I’m grateful for the friends who are also pilgrims on the journey. I feel tethered to them as well, for our hearts are knit together in love. I encourage you to live into ways that He and others ground and support you as you navigate your unfolding story.
“Lord, we wait in hope for You; You are our help and our shield. Our hearts rejoice in You, for we trust in Your holy name. May Your unfailing love be with us, Lord, even as we put our hope in You.” AMEN (Psalm 33:20-22)
